Dear Management (F/M) of the Amneville Zoo,
concerning your most important message to your valued visitors, i.e. that we are to abstain from feeding pop corn to the animals, an instruction you must consider fairly necessary because otherwise you would not have procured and displayed all those attractive wooden plaques displaying the prohibition, and after having observed the reactions of numerous pop corn carriers and their interaction with the animals, I would suggest you change the message.
In my humble opinion, it should say: “Do continuously feed the animals with pop corn and watch them suffer, we implore you.”
Since one can easily discern from the language and the behaviour of your visitors that they are predominantly French and that they want to do just the opposite of what it says they should do, you are left with only one option to prevent your people from killing your animals with pop corn, that being, as stated above, an explicit instruction to stuff the bloody animals with loads of sodden pop corn and grin inanely every time a rare deer, monkey or crane swallows the stuff like there’s no tomorrow.
your German visitors (yes, we lost it)
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