Things I Learned Today

– If in your dream you are apologizing in German to a Slovenian receptionist for being way too tired to partake in small talk and there are those huge, cuddly dreamt-up beds all around you, then you really are tired. Even in the morning, when you wake up in your own comfortable bed.

– If you only want to buy some lettuce and you don’t change your work-at-home clothes for something more appropriate before venturing out, people will stare at you. At your boobs, to be precise. Doesn’t matter you’re pushing 40.

– If you cannot believe Germany will win the football match, simply start rooting for Italy. Many Germans do, so why not you.

– If you think the weather won’t be nice enough to undertake a really long paddling tour, start searching for fitness studios in Helsinki, just like your hubby said.

– If you regret not having capitalized on your boobs in a better way, like having bought an entrance ticket to a massive gilded cage instead of working too much, think twice: such women are not allowed to read books. Reading and thinking causes wrinkles, as you know. And you are perverse enough to want to read despite living a dream.


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