Much Needed Dimensions

“… And then I hovered there for quite some time … You know, Galactixx is a really huge cinemallusion place and many, many animate entities come there to enjoy their verisimilitude programs. You should have seen my snacks! Chocolate-covered nipples of non-adult Oink Entities from XXXL Pork Mines, Fried Ratbrains from the Appocalipxxx Nebula, PonyPenisStew from Orgismatyss and many more. You should have seen those sissy plant material feeders watching me! They were clearly afraid I’d eat them too! If it wasn’t forbidden by the Interstellar Code, I would have-…”

– – –

– Have you heard it!?! Our own offspring talking such coprolith!

– Come on, it’s just a kid prancing! You know-

– YOU know what the problem is, don’t you. It is 347 interstellar units old but behaving as if it were only 34,7. You know very well infantile behaviour is tolerated only before one is 180. And you also know the consequence!

– Yes, but … Surely the Interstellar Code Enforcement Entities will give it a chance to adapt before forcing it to undergo the Obligatory Maturing Process, won’t they?!? I’d especially hate it if our offspring had to undergo the damn Thinkcell Reprogramming – you know what happens afterwards, right?! All those kids wanting to process tax refunds, re-count the planets and sweep the dust in the far away corners of the Universe … I don’t want our offspring to become just another Univ Accountant!

– I know, I know … but our kid won’t mature any time soon. It enjoys its parent-defying binging sprees way too much for that. And if we take away its living matter food, it will start taking drugs or hitting itself on the head or whatever it is modern kids of the Universe do to spite their parental entities … And as long as it does that, it won’t be allowed to procreate, maturity being the necessary condition for that.
No, we need to find a planet our kid can live on. One with a name starting with E, preferably, since there are no known planet names beginning with this horrible letter right now.

– Hmm … OK. Let’s search, just in case. It better have some edible animate non-sapient entities though, otherwise we can forget it.


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