Category Archives: HUNGRY?
“… And then I hovered there for quite some time … You know, Galactixx is a really huge cinemallusion place and many, many animate entities come there to enjoy their verisimilitude programs. You should have seen my snacks! Chocolate-covered nipples of non-adult Oink Entities from XXXL Pork Mines, Fried Ratbrains from the Appocalipxxx Nebula, PonyPenisStew from Orgismatyss and many more. You should have seen those sissy plant material feeders watching me! They were clearly afraid I’d eat them too! If it wasn’t forbidden by the Interstellar Code, I would have-…”
– – –
– Have you heard it!?! Our own offspring talking such coprolith!
– Come on, it’s just a kid prancing! You know-
– YOU know what the problem is, don’t you. It is 347 interstellar units old but behaving as if it were only 34,7. You know very well infantile behaviour is tolerated only before one is 180. And you also know the consequence!
– Yes, but … Surely the Interstellar Code Enforcement Entities will give it a chance to adapt before forcing it to undergo the Obligatory Maturing Process, won’t they?!? I’d especially hate it if our offspring had to undergo the damn Thinkcell Reprogramming – you know what happens afterwards, right?! All those kids wanting to process tax refunds, re-count the planets and sweep the dust in the far away corners of the Universe … I don’t want our offspring to become just another Univ Accountant!
– I know, I know … but our kid won’t mature any time soon. It enjoys its parent-defying binging sprees way too much for that. And if we take away its living matter food, it will start taking drugs or hitting itself on the head or whatever it is modern kids of the Universe do to spite their parental entities … And as long as it does that, it won’t be allowed to procreate, maturity being the necessary condition for that.
No, we need to find a planet our kid can live on. One with a name starting with E, preferably, since there are no known planet names beginning with this horrible letter right now.
– Hmm … OK. Let’s search, just in case. It better have some edible animate non-sapient entities though, otherwise we can forget it.
Go and buy the largest frying pan you can find.
Don’t be ashamed of it.
Make pancake batter you especially like. Mine was with cornmeal und oat milk.
Heat up some olive oil in your brand new (?) pan and don’t worry if the pan is not terribly hot. It is too big, you see.
Just pour all of your batter into the pan at once.
When you think it’s done on one side, turn it around with two huge spatulas.
This should be easy: after all, it’s a large pan.
Cut it into appropriately large pieces and serve it with anything you like. May I suggest tahini? Steamed mushrooms? Or date syrup?
Buy a frying pan, larger than life:
What, don’t you have a saying “eyes bigger than the stomach” in your neck of the woods?
First disclosure of the year: I like food.
Second disclosure of the year: I adore oats.
I am sure these two are enough to be rewarded a honorary Scottish citizenship (I won’t mention The Outlander, I promise), but to further improve my chances of owning, say, a flock of sheep in the most beautiful Highlands there are, I decided to try making Scottish Oatcakes following a recipe of someone who knows how to make them resemble the original oatcakes.
Jep, that would be Walkers Highland Oatcakes.
So, are they difficult to make? No:
2 cups coarsely ground oats (mine were wholemeal and I used a food processor)
1/2 whole wheat flour (ähm, I used whole spelt flour)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs (it says one in the recipe, but mine were small)
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted (mine was Irish)
2 tbsp liquid honey (mine was Turkish)
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, oats, salt and baking powder, add egg(s), butter and honey, blend well, roll out (0,5 cm), cut into shapes (mine were square), bake for 20 minutes at 160 °C.
Serve with things to spread on or simply eat away.
This is not my first ground oats recipe and I am sure it can be veganized – Walkers oatcakes contain vegetable oil and not butter, no honey, and I am sure the egg is optional. It will still all stick together anyway.
Luckily, I managed to make some pictures: