Category Archives: RANT

Sleepless In Denmark

“Remember having asked me about possible reasons for not doing this anymore?” he says suddenly, unexpectedly. “This would be one. But we can avoid that in the future.”

He is right, of course: while we have started our paddling tour in Denmark before the school holidays begin, we should still have expected larger campsites to attract youngsters of a certain kind at any time. Certain kind means being able to tow unbelievable quantities of beer crates to the campsite and at the same time unable to get very far by paddling on the river, which is where the cars come in, at some later point.

And did I mention the Soccer World Cup was to start soon?

Anyway, we did not get much sleep in our tent that night, but I chose not to grow the huge bags under my eyes without a fight. I shared my personal opinion about the partying youngsters with my restless husband and didn’t spare him any details: I was quite sure the Danes understood enough German to know what my problem was. They did. And were soon making fun of my “Scheiße!”. Which was when the i-word was used. But before things got any worse, the idiots stopped singing, yelling and talking and went to sleep, leaving us to try to do the same.

At that point, we had done quite some paddling and really needed some rest, and I would have preferred to end the day by going through the lovely pictures of the magnificent Gudenå in my head, but river fans cannot be choosers, so.

Our tour had started in Skanderborg, a day later than planned because the wind was trying so hard to blow away the gravity of the water, as it often does. What else to do but to go shopping instead: Aarhus offered its facilities and we said thank you, though we almost ended up buying nothing. That is: I bought 2 outdoor jackets for next to nothing and left them in the car for the rest of the paddling tour, because I wasn’t concentrating properly.

The next day we could finally cross the peaceful lake Mossø – it had apparently lost all the will to try to kill us that was on such a magnificent display the day before. I felt victorious, for no reason at all, and we entered the Gudenå system.

In this system of lakes, connected by the river Gudenå we spent another five days, which were even better than we had expected them to be, though our last long ride was full of rain, cold clouds, damp cows on moisty pastures and – singing, yelling and talking Danish youngsters at our destination. They had moved to our last campsite by cars and joined another group or two. That evening, Denmark won the soccer match against Peru. And we slept like two logs.

“We shall return,” he says a few days after the tour. “We will pack some ear plugs and avoid the high season and campsites in bigger places, but we will return. The river is magnificent.”

It is.

I have done it.

So I went to my client’s event and loved it. Every minute of it.

But the way there …

It all started at home, of course.

My two-weeks-ago-carefully-put-together outfit fell out due to one fact I had ignored when doing the sartorial maths. Luckily, I conjured the next outfit on the spot, as you would, and I still had enough time to check it out. Unluckily, the second outfit wasn’t good enough, either. I did tell you I had nothing to wear?!?!

Like in a fairy tale, it was the third outfit, born out of necessity (aka 5 minutes to go) that was good enough and made me feel well, so off I went.

Only to find myself in an old train half an hour later, wondering whether the 3 guys next to me were going to drink all that beer and what the strap of my brand new bag was doing down there. They didn’t, they were rather nice while sipping their beer, and the strap had gotten somehow detached from the bag – without my help.That something like this should happen!

So now what? What now so? Now what so?

Ahhh, my brain cell went, you have some safety pins in your kaputted bag – use them. So I did. The bag lasted till I made the first few steps in the small town I had been headed to.

Do you know Karstadt? It’s one of those warehouses that are going to be abolished because we all shop cheap things online these days (like bags). Anyway, there was a Karstadt near the venue I was headed for and they sold me a most lovely bag within minutes, made all the sympathetic noises while I told them about my stupid old bag, didn’t wince when I used their surfaces to empty the old bag and fill the new one and wished me a nice evening.

I threw away the old bag, what else and had myself a nice evening.

Še ena smetnjakarska

 – Tudi jaz imam zate koristno povezavo, po skupinskem Whatsappu sporočim sosedu, ki mi je priporočil spletno trgovino za vrtne rastline, tale aplikacija ti sporoči datum odvoza smeti, da smetnjakov ne postaviš ven dva dni prezgodaj 🙂.

Vem, kdaj je odvoz smeti, mi odvrne, najini sosedi so kot čredne živali, eden postavi smetnjake ob rob ceste, pa to takoj storijo še vsi ostali ;-).

Ah, to je razlog, sem presenečena in zaključim pogovor. Kaj pa naj še prijavim o tej neracionalni, a očitno veljavni tradiciji? Pa ja ne bom Nemcev učila, kako poteka odvoz smeti.

Čez dva dni me soseda zmerja, ker pri pometanju dvorišča kot smetišnico uporabljam našo ogromno lopato za sneg.

Tako gre hitreje, sem presenečena. Da je potrebno tudi manj pripogibanja, ji ne uspem več razkriti – še enkrat me pozmerja in odhiti v svoj ljubodoma.

Čez nekaj minut se po Whatsappu že prilizuje najinemu prijaznemu sosedu, ki jo je še pred kratkim imenoval čredno žival.

Vzdihnem. Seveda! Pa saj še nisem pozabila, da sem preneumna za ta svet!

Seveda obstajajo ženske, ki za vse krivijo druge ženske.

Gre za strahove, neumnica!

Pointen zum Abwinken

“Guck mal, hier schreibt ein Forist über den Andreas, duweißtschon, Andreas Kümmert, der nicht am ESC teilnehmen will: “Wenigstens hat er Rückrad!”

😆 … 😆

“Ob das eine Art Rollator für feige Sänger ist?”

😆 …

“… und alle, die’s werden wollen!”

So früh am Morgen und schon so gut gelaunt. Passiert recht häufig; Das unverschämte Sprücheklopfen nach der Art “Mir-ist-Nix-heilig” haben wir in all diesen Jahren ganz gut vorangetrieben.

Und wir sind passionierte Titanicleser.

Mein lieber mitgackernder Mann kann die Lebensversüßungssprüche sogar im Büro erzählen.

Ich gebe mir meistens Mühe, das nicht zu tun. Nicht, weil ich allein im Büro bin.

Als Ausländerin muss ich zwar laufend Beweise erbringen, integriert zu sein, darf jedoch häufig genug nicht zeigen, dass ich zufällig mal bisschen mehr Integration drauf habe. Manchmal ist es viel nützlicher, dem eigens beauftragten Fachmann nicht mitzuteilen, welche Rechtschreibfehler er begangen hat, und auch nicht davon auszugehen, Muttersprachler seien bereit, mitzulachen oder zu diskutieren.

Dazu müsste man mich ja als eine der Ihresgleichen akzeptieren und das ist nicht dasselbe wie voll integriert, das weiß schließlich jeder.

Sei’s drum: Hauptsache nicht noch einmal ESC gewinnen.

Gute Frage.

Ausländische Mitbürger haben auch dann schlechtere Chancen auf dem deutschen Arbeitsmarkt, heißt es, wenn sie dieselbe Ausbildung wie ihre deutschen Mitbewerber anzubieten haben. Somit nutzt ihnen der ganze in Deutschland absolvierte Bildungsweg kaum, wenn der Familienname falsch ist.

Schlingligerweise frage ich mich, ob die Beibehaltung des nichtdeutschen Familiennamens in Kombination mit einem Job, denn eindeutig nur Muttersprachler anderer Sprachen machen sollen, irgendwelche Vorteile bringt? Weil wenn ja, her damit!

OOTDs 6 & 7: Posh Moose, right?

It was cold outside, and quite grey, when I realized I wasn’t going to pass the economy exam: I didn’t understand anything we were supposed to learn during our Saturday seminar. At the same time, I felt unnaturally well. How come?

That day I found out I am a sucker for organic materials and non-poisonous clothes: it was my shirt that made me feel so well, a feeling I have been able to recreate and prove ever since. While “genetics” might be a strong word to use and probably not correct, I can still say I am a “natural born clothes snob” aka Posh Moose, right?

Anyway, I have been expanding my organic clothes treasure trove since that day and loving every piece of it. It’s a slow process because I don’t believe in organic cotton tees sold for 5 euro – what about the workers who made them? Did they survive? Can they eat? Breathe? This lack of belief in the necessity of textile workers torture for my own well-being (aka chock-full wardrobe) has lead to my cutting down on quantities purchased but also to some new, much beloved pieces of clothing  sharing my living space.

Like today’s OOTD 6 and OOTD 7: a pair of laser-designed jeans (noone died in the process of distressing them), combined with a cardigan (made of organic wool) my husband wanted to send back because of size issues. My favourite blouse (organic cotton) and a pair of trousers (not organic, but nice) my husband wanted to send back because of size issues.

After the jump. SFW.

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May I?

Suggest we all go shopping at non-worker-killing companies? (by “we” I mean “me, too”)

OK, let’s have some fun, shall we


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(This is supposed to be only a joke)

It’s That Thing That Makes Me Wanna Go Boooooooooooooo!

Why do ALL my neighbours know Germany have just scored and let me know that very loudly, while I have to wait for another 7/8 of the century to find out Germany have just scored?!?!?!?

It can’t be my super fast internet connection, can it.

I suspect there’s a spacetime warp in my living room.

Anyway: boringly played and well done, Guys.

Kleingeschwätzeltes am Freitag / Petkove čvečkarije


Das ist das erste Mal, dass ich mich politisch auf den Kopp gehauen fühle.

Ideologisch muss ich meinen ersten blau gemützten und rot behalstuchten Tod schon in der Grundschule erlebt haben, weltanschaulich wohl in regelmäßigen Abständen seit Anno Tabak, aber der Politik entzog ich mich, weil ich sie für einen Quasi-Lebensbereich hielt. Mit einer ähnlichen Daseinsberechtigung wie die gelbe Presse und die meisten Frauenzeitschriften.

Und dann geht frau einmal, zweimal wählen und schwupps! interessiert sie sich auch für Politik.

Und dann kommt ein gleichaltriger Minister einer (gutt)bürgerlichen Partei, deren Schwesterpartei frau auch schon mal gewählt hat und die früher mal angeblich für Anstand, harte Arbeit und Ehrlichkeit stand, und da steht er also und sagt, er hätte unbewusst geistiges Eigentum anderer übernommen. Auf, sagt man, 70 % der Seiten in seiner Diss. Und droht mit strafrechtlichen Konsequenzen, sollte jemand behaupten, er hätte vorsätzlich gestohlen.

Und ein nicht unwesentlicher Teil der Bevölkerung ist der Meinung, auf die paar Fußnoten käme es nicht an. 😯

Böse, wer dabei keine Witze liest.

Fragt ein Praktikant im Verteidigungsministerium: Wo ist denn hier der Kopierer? Antwort: Der ist auf Truppenbesuch in Afghanistan (Quelle).

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