Category Archives: REINE DES EMMERDEUSES

I have done it.

So I went to my client’s event and loved it. Every minute of it.

But the way there …

It all started at home, of course.

My two-weeks-ago-carefully-put-together outfit fell out due to one fact I had ignored when doing the sartorial maths. Luckily, I conjured the next outfit on the spot, as you would, and I still had enough time to check it out. Unluckily, the second outfit wasn’t good enough, either. I did tell you I had nothing to wear?!?!

Like in a fairy tale, it was the third outfit, born out of necessity (aka 5 minutes to go) that was good enough and made me feel well, so off I went.

Only to find myself in an old train half an hour later, wondering whether the 3 guys next to me were going to drink all that beer and what the strap of my brand new bag was doing down there. They didn’t, they were rather nice while sipping their beer, and the strap had gotten somehow detached from the bag – without my help.That something like this should happen!

So now what? What now so? Now what so?

Ahhh, my brain cell went, you have some safety pins in your kaputted bag – use them. So I did. The bag lasted till I made the first few steps in the small town I had been headed to.

Do you know Karstadt? It’s one of those warehouses that are going to be abolished because we all shop cheap things online these days (like bags). Anyway, there was a Karstadt near the venue I was headed for and they sold me a most lovely bag within minutes, made all the sympathetic noises while I told them about my stupid old bag, didn’t wince when I used their surfaces to empty the old bag and fill the new one and wished me a nice evening.

I threw away the old bag, what else and had myself a nice evening.

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What have I done?

For a reason I cannot put my finger on, I said Yes. Yes, I can.

Attend a Christmas party of a client’s. Next month.

Now I can’t believe I actually said yes.

The thing is, I am very happy in my moosing cave and don’t really want to leave it for other people. On the other hand, I really want to get to know the people I am in daily e-mail contact with. It cannot hurt.

So before an endless inner war broke out, I said yes.

Now I have nothing to wear.

And what am I going to talk about – work?

And what about my hair?

And how do I get there?

How do I get home?

Why did I say yes?!?

😆

😥


OOTD9: Party Time!

I must admit I don’t find the fact that we occasionally organize our own parties, just for the two of us, strange in any way. After all, it is nice to have a relaxed talk or a relaxing silence with someone you know while eating well, drinking merrily and wearing party clothes noone will comment upon because they get worn only for this purpose. Like really high heels: Continue reading


Heute: Darjeeling mit Fettaugen.

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A Gender Bender,

 … first thing in the morning, no less.

  • “Dear Mrs. Client, I can deliver your translation next week.”
  • “Thank you, Mrs. Alcessa, that would be nice. Have a nice week.”
  • “Thank you, Mrs. Client, wish you a nice week, too.”
  • “Thank you. Actually, that would be Mr. Client, Nicolas being a French male name.”
  • “Oh, I am so sorry! I read your name as ‘Nicola’ … You know, I get called Mr. from time to time, too. Funny thing, no?”
  • “Yes, it happens all the time, no problem :-)”

Liar.


Pointen zum Abwinken

“Guck mal, hier schreibt ein Forist über den Andreas, duweißtschon, Andreas Kümmert, der nicht am ESC teilnehmen will: “Wenigstens hat er Rückrad!”

😆 … 😆

“Ob das eine Art Rollator für feige Sänger ist?”

😆 …

“… und alle, die’s werden wollen!”

So früh am Morgen und schon so gut gelaunt. Passiert recht häufig; Das unverschämte Sprücheklopfen nach der Art “Mir-ist-Nix-heilig” haben wir in all diesen Jahren ganz gut vorangetrieben.

Und wir sind passionierte Titanicleser.

Mein lieber mitgackernder Mann kann die Lebensversüßungssprüche sogar im Büro erzählen.

Ich gebe mir meistens Mühe, das nicht zu tun. Nicht, weil ich allein im Büro bin.

Als Ausländerin muss ich zwar laufend Beweise erbringen, integriert zu sein, darf jedoch häufig genug nicht zeigen, dass ich zufällig mal bisschen mehr Integration drauf habe. Manchmal ist es viel nützlicher, dem eigens beauftragten Fachmann nicht mitzuteilen, welche Rechtschreibfehler er begangen hat, und auch nicht davon auszugehen, Muttersprachler seien bereit, mitzulachen oder zu diskutieren.

Dazu müsste man mich ja als eine der Ihresgleichen akzeptieren und das ist nicht dasselbe wie voll integriert, das weiß schließlich jeder.

Sei’s drum: Hauptsache nicht noch einmal ESC gewinnen.


Going Teetotal

I might not have told you that before, but I adore wine.

The problem is, I really don’t like alcohol. Or it doesn’t like me, depends on the perspective.

Anyway, instead of counting pros and cons every time I feel like drinking wine, I will be drinking wine for teetotallers in the future:

P1290283_k

(Haven’t tried any of them yet as they have just arrived, but my experience with sparkling wine shows there will be at least one sort somewhere along the shopping line I am going to love.)


Wie wär’s mit einer Empfehlung?

Liebe BetriebsanleitungsverfasserInnen!

Es bietet sich an, beim Verfassen einer Betriebsanleitung für Schweissanlagen penibelst auf das 100%-Vorkommen des Buchstabens w zu achten.

Ich sag’s nur. Mir schadet mein Lachen nicht. 😆

Brecht


Gute Frage.

Ausländische Mitbürger haben auch dann schlechtere Chancen auf dem deutschen Arbeitsmarkt, heißt es, wenn sie dieselbe Ausbildung wie ihre deutschen Mitbewerber anzubieten haben. Somit nutzt ihnen der ganze in Deutschland absolvierte Bildungsweg kaum, wenn der Familienname falsch ist.

Schlingligerweise frage ich mich, ob die Beibehaltung des nichtdeutschen Familiennamens in Kombination mit einem Job, denn eindeutig nur Muttersprachler anderer Sprachen machen sollen, irgendwelche Vorteile bringt? Weil wenn ja, her damit!


Zakaj sem toaletni papir vrgla v smeti.

Ker je smrdel, jasno.

Resda bi bilo bolje, če bi že v trgovini opazila, da toaletni papir po znižani ceni oglašujejo kot prijetno dišeč, vendar na to možnost pač nisem pomislila in nisem brala opisov na embalaži. Zanima me samo število plasti (4): ste res mislili, da prevajalci beremo opise izdelkov in navodila za njihovo uporabo?

Pri poceni papirju sem si privoščila pomoto kljub temu, da že dlje časa kolnem proizvajalce in prodajalce higienskih vložkov, ker mi na vso silo hočejo zasmraditi življenje: imam občutljiv nos in kar je njim dišava, je meni obupen smrad. Skrajni čas bo za menopavzo, se mi zdi. Ali pa za drage vložke od biokmeta, dobavljene še pred sedmo uro zjutraj.

Predstavljajte si, da je v manjšem kraju v nedeljo ena taka fajn prireditev, dan je lep in sončen, sprehajate se med stojnicami in ves čas vam pod nos sili tako imenovana dišava iz toaletnega papirja. Vaša prva misel je, da morate domov in pod tuš, potem pa ugotovite, da isti smrad oddajajo tudi drugi obiskovalci prireditve. Seveda: en sam večji prodajalec na vasi, ista posebna ponudba, veliko kupcev. Veliko smradu.

Ljeh. – – –

“Mal je čuden,” pravi moja frizerka, “ne maramo ga preveč, ker se nam prilizuje na tako ogaben način.”

Stranke se smejimo, medtem ko Hairkillerki oponašata vedenje njihovega novega svetovalca za marketing.

“Upam, da vam ne bo treba te sluzljave vsiljivosti po novem oponašati?” sem malce zaskrbljena.

“Ma ne, po novem moramo strankam pogosteje svetovati, kaj bi še lahko naredile z lasmi oziroma kaj še ponujamo pri nas. To mi ni všeč, ta vsiljivost, če kdo hoče kaj posebnega, nam bo že povedal.”

Moja najljubša vrsta frizerke. Če kaj hočem, bom že rekla, če imam vprašanje, ga bom zastavila, drugače pa bi samo rada striženje v miru.

“In, ti je všeč?”

“Jaaa!” posnemam njeno prejšnje posnemanje njihovega svetovalca za marketing: “Super je!” sem narejeno sladka.

Smeh.

No, frizura mi je res všeč, zelo kratka je, zato po novem kažem celo vrsto uhančkov.

Poletje in to.

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